Patrick Christys: Can we all just leave the Queen alone?

'You can’t blame the Queen for not wanting to go to Scotland and listen to Sturgeon and Co give speeches pretending to care about climate change.

Published Last updated

Unfortunately our dear Queen is clearly a bit under the weather, she spent a night in hospital for preliminary tests and now she’s not going to attend Cop 26 on the advice of her doctor, who wants her to rest.

Look, you can’t blame the Queen for not wanting to go to Scotland and listen to Sturgeon and Co give speeches pretending to care about climate change.

At the end of the day, if I wanted to listen to a dumpy red head talk about things I didn’t care about, I’d buy tickets to an Elton John concert.

It’s been a massive year for the Queen, for all the wrong reasons – Prince Andrew, her favourite child, apparently, has well…you know…Prince Harry essentially stabbed her in the back by ‘finding freedom’ and somehow navigating his way out of his gold plated cage and into the arms of Oprah alongside his wife, who essentially called the royal family racist.

And then, of course, Prince Philip, her husband of 73 years, sadly passed away. Her rock, her stalwart, the man who dutifully always walked just one step behind her. Half of the nation’s best ever double act.

And can I just make this point – she’s 95-years-old. 95. I’ll be dead by then, clearly, how spritely will our royal correspondents be? What will they be doing at 95? I can’t believe she’s in such fine fettle for her age!

I find it a bit loathsome that so many of the usual types are using her illness like some kind of feeding frenzy.

‘How ill is she?!’ ‘Is she dying?!’ ‘Why didn’t you tell us she was in hospital?!’

Yes, that’s right, I’m talking about Nicholas Witchell, Mr Angry from the BBC, he kicked off because he wasn’t informed about the fact she was unwell…

I’m not surprised – Prince Charles famously said ‘I can’t bear that man, he’s so awful, he really is’. I couldn’t possibly comment…

But most of these Royal Correspondents essentially engage in legalised stalking – they follow the Royals round like posh leeches desperate for any kind of information.

And then when they are called upon, it’s always useless isn’t it.

‘What will the Queen be doing now Nicholas?’ ‘Well, if I know the Queen like I know the Queen, which is not at all, she’ll be sitting in her morning room, dark green curtains, having her cup of tea, two sugars of course just like her mother, surrounded by her favourite Corgi, called Whisper.’

Come on mate…they’re all just absolutely blagging it.

Our Queen ascended to the throne at just 25 years old, she’s our longest ever serving Monarch, she served in the Auxilliary territorial service during the war, she’s guided us through the Troubles, she presided over decolonisation, devolution, Brexit, Diana’s death, and much, much more.

I think the hysteria about her health is absolute nonsense, she’s supposedly delivering a virtual address via video-link at the Cop26 conference, so she’ll be more present than China and Russia combined.

I think everyone needs to back off a bit when it comes to her health and leave her alone. She’s always acted with dignity, why can’t we?