Dear police authorities... give up the politics, give up the virtue signalling, and go after the bad guys, says Mark Dolan

Are you sitting comfortably? Then I’ll begin. With some arresting news.

The Mail newspaper have reported this week that seven in ten of the Met Police's 32,000 officers, have not made one arrest over the last year, as crime hits highest level in two decades.

No arrests! This is a symptom of a wider malaise, in our police forces across the country. In England and Wales, a total of 6.3million crimes ,were recorded in the year to March 2022, with knife crime, theft and domestic abuse all on the increase. Coppers, most of whom are brilliant people - dedicated and brave - have been turned into pen pushing bureaucrats, more likely feeling your collar, for an offensive tweet, or an unkind Facebook post. Let's not forget the scandal of cops investigating the brilliant comedian Joe Lycett.

They were responding to a complaint about one of his jokes at a live show.

One of his jokes! How many people, were being mugged, assaulted or robbed in the course of that interrogation? How many police hours wasted, filling out forms about NOTHING. In the end no charges were made - how nice of them. The police are going, from being institutionally racist, which was horrific, to institutionally woke.

I'm all for inclusion – I'm the most liberal personal you’ll find. Fall in love with anyone you like, of any gender, race or creed. It's wonderful. And if you're a man in a woman's body or vice versa, good luck to you. It's your human right to identify as you please. But it's not the Police’s job to sell this message, with youngsters in our great cities stabbing each other to death. Go and catch some criminals, whatever their bloody gender.

He, her, she him, lock em up and throw away the key. Virtue signalling police forces, across the country, don’t seem to care about burglary for example. In the last year, 6% of all burglaries led to a prosecution, which effectively means, burglary has been decriminalised. The message is clear – go woke, get broken into. And the Police, didn't do themselves any favours, in the course of the pandemic. During Covid restrictions, they ambushed a woman, sitting on her own, on a bench at the seaside, like she was the local boss of an ISIS terror cell. She wasn't really. She was a lady in her 60s having a single shot latte with skimmed milk and a dash of caramel syrup. Goes great in coffee. Cops raided gyms at awn, to catch people, who had the temerity to try to keep themselves fit, during the pandemic. Priorities, eh?

And they relentlessly harassed the public, who perfectly within their rights, chose not to wear one of those worthless, scientifically empty face rags. It was seeing footage of one innocent bloke, being bullied by cops on a train, about no face covering, that inspired me to chop up a mask the very next day, on national radio. I understand the cops are not responsible for legislation. The law is an ass, but they were asses for overzealously interpreting it.

Policing by consent, discretion? Remember that? Also, police forces have become decidedly political. Racism is the worst and most evil stain on humanity, but cops dancing at an event, for the politically divisive BLM organisation, which ironically, wants to defund the police - is that wise? Wearing rainbow outfits ,and posing for selfies at an extinction rebellion march?

All of these marches were tolerated during lockdown, but if you went on a march against lockdown ITSELF, it was back of the van for you. Back of the VAAAN! And surely a low point, was the unedifying scene of protesters, who had glued themselves to the motorway – affecting peoples lives, delaying ambulances and dangerously risking an accident – being asked by cops whether they are okay, or whether they would like a cup of tea or something to eat. I know what I’d give them. What about all of the ludicrous Covid fines meted out? I think they should ALL be refunded. And the police’s judgement about who broke the Covid rules, are more inconsistent, than a football referee in the Vanarama national league.

A case in point, Boris Johnson gets fined for standing near a birthday cake for 11 seconds, teetotal Rishi Sunak gets a fine, smiling next to a glass of orange juice, but Sir Keir Starmer, the cervix free leader of the opposition gets off scot free, whilst guzzling beer at 10 o'clock at night. Beergate hypocrite?

He was cleared, but was that consistent? You tell me. Plus old keir starmer changed his story more often than Charles Dickens. There needs to be a huge change in the culture of our police forces. As with the NHS, we have the best PEOPLE working in our police forces – scores of whom watch this show. Our boy and girl cops, of all backrounds, races and religions - put their lives on the line every day. British cops are reasonable, responsible and discreet – the best in the world. They are the foot soldiers of law and order and they are every bit as heroic, as our combatants abroad. And if we are going to talk about pay rises, THEY should be front of the queue. They’ve had nothing for a decade. But the leadership and the police culture is a disaster, which is why so many forces are in special measures.

Police bosses have got to let the police, police. They're not social workers, they're not political campaigners. They're not actually there to make the world a better place, just a safer one. Criminals should fear and respect police officers. Right now they're laughing at them, because they know, they face no consequences for their actions. Any criminologist will tell you, the rot of crime prevention, is the fear of getting caught. The only thing you’ll get caught by these days, is a speed camera, or a traffic warden.

So my message to the police authorities, is to give up the politics, give up the virtue signalling, and go after the bad guys. Victims of crime, have no right to remain silent. They should be heard, they should receive justice and those responsible should be jailed, so they can’t do it again, to someone else. Something needs to change. Britain is getting more dangerous by the day.

The brilliant BBC presenter Nick Ross – remember him? What a great broadcaster and communicator.

He used to sign off the BBC Crimewatch programme, by saying “don’t have nightmares”. Well these days, maybe you should.