Partygate ends with a victory for no one - except those who value civil liberties, Dan Wootton says

Five months.

That’s how long this £460,000 farce has dragged on.

Five months of government business being overshadowed by the minutia of work gatherings two years ago.

Five months of the pathetic and craven MSM telling you that the Prime Minister receiving a birthday cake that was never removed from the Tupperware container in his office, which doubles as his home, by staff members is a more important story than a cost-of-living crisis.

Five months of this embarrassing hysteria that has shamed the British media.

Well, today it all came crashing down for that lot.

Despite the five months of hysteria, there would be a solitary fixed penalty notice for the Prime Minister, his wife and his Chancellor for the most pathetic of reasons.

That presentation of a birthday cake between meetings at Downing Street.

And my God, the media are devastated today.

They could barely hide their disappointment during their coverage of the announcement from the Met Police, who botched this non-investigation from the start.

Hilariously, Slippery Keir Starmer still has to continue with his farcical claim that the Prime Minister should resign for accepting a birthday cake, even though we all know he committed a far worse lockdown crime by downing booze and chomping on curry in what’s now known as Beergate, also being investigated by the police.

I’d love to know how he kept a straight face when he spoke to GB News Political Editor Darren McCaffrey today.

Five months of this.

I can’t defend any of it.

I can’t defend the initial rule-breaking by those at Number 10 Downing Street who were caging us indoors for months on end.

I can’t defend the biased media coverage.

I can’t defend the highly politicised investigation by the Met.

I certainly can’t defend the wasted £450,000 and the resource of 12 officers, who should be solving crime in failed Sadiq Khan’s Lawless London, rather than focussing on this farce.

But there is one positive to emerge from this political train wreck.

By far the best thing about Partygate and Beergate is that if our so-called leaders EVER think of stealing our freedoms, civil liberties and right to choose how we live again, we will all do one thing: "Tell them to go to hell."

They were never scared.

The lockdowns never worked.

Never forget that ­– because that’s what really matters.