Mark Dolan: Joe Biden couldn't change his underpants, let alone a foreign government

Mark Dolan: Joe Biden couldn't change his underpants, let alone a foreign government
Mark Dolan

By Mark Dolan


Published: 27/03/2022

- 21:35

Updated: 27/03/2022

- 21:43

In his latest foreign policy howler, the leader of the free world may have accidentally started World War Three

It’s been seven months since America's catastrophic withdrawal from Afghanistan, which gifted a murderous crew of gangsters, otherwise known as the Taliban, a mineral and resource rich country, complete with billions of quid's worth of allied helicopters, fighter jets, night vision goggles, uniforms, tanks, radar devices and artillery.

At the time I said Joe Biden is one of the most dangerous men in the world, because that catastrophic exit from Afghanistan created an international headquarters for terror and handed the likes of China a key strategic advantage in the Middle East.


Chinese soldiers moved in days after our departure. I cannot work out what is worse – Joe Biden’s profound lack of judgement, or his poor state of cognitive health.

He’s either a fool or foolish, or both. Here are what we are calling someone Joe Biden’s greatest hits.

Well in his latest foreign policy howler, the leader of the free world may have accidentally started World War Three, by announcing that Putin cannot stay in power and there has to be regime change in Russia.

Joe Biden calling for regime change.

Yeah, the Americans don't have the best history, when it comes to regime change, do they?

Remember Saddam Hussein and those weapons of mass destruction? How's that working out for you? Seriously, regime change?

Joe Biden couldn't change his underpants, let alone a foreign government. These comments are just about the most dangerous diplomatic moment in the war so far. Don't take my word for it, after these seemingly improvised remarks, the White House quickly denied what he had to say.

They said this is not official government policy.

So the White House spokesperson, contradicts the words of the president, who leads the country and resides in the White House. Wow.

Joe Biden is in my view, the most dangerous figure to occupy the White House in living memory. These unguarded remarks have set America up for a protracted battle of attrition with Russia and potentially sowed the seeds of a devastating global conflict. Let’s hope not.

Donald Trump meanwhile was apparently such a terrible human being, and the worst president ever, even though he famously reached out to tyrants like Kim Jong Un and Vladimir Putin.

I was no fan of Trump’s by any means, but at least his brain was on and he didn't start a single war. Whilst Joe Biden the lovely, caring, sharing, mask-wearing incumbent – the world’s first woke US president, seems hellbent on creating the biggest human conflict in history.

Did you know he campaigned hard for the Iraq war back in the day? Actions speak louder than words.

These most recent comments were inept, dangerous and wrong. Politics is all about the art of compromise.

With Putin already scaling back his appalling invasion of Ukraine, and with Russian generals being mown down by mutinying soldiers in Russian tanks, and with thousands of Russians already killed, and tanks and planes blown up, we've got Vladimir on the ropes.

He's not quite on the canvas, the referee isn't counting to ten just yet, but the Ukrainians have drawn blood and the winning belt has got Zelenskyy’s name on it.

It doesn't help therefore, that the leader of the free world, unnecessarily stabs the hornets nest and provokes Vladimir Putin into what we all fear most, which is a “nothing to lose” strategy.

If this conflict becomes about Putin's very survival, and not just his imperialistic ambitions for his country, he will go down kicking and screaming. And he will take everyone with him.

Loathsome though he is, if Vladimir Putin still has a stake in the future, he is more likely to sit around the negotiating table. You know, one of those massive tables of which he is so fond.

You know what they say. Big desk, small ego. Apparently DFS have had a run on those massive tables. In their sale, obviously.

Our smart foreign secretary, Liz Truss has won plaudits for her bonanza of post Brexit trade deals, the release of Nazanin Zaghari-Ratcliffe after six long years and her judicious but firm tone in the course of this conflict.

In today's Sunday Telegraph she handed the monster Putin an olive branch - she's going for carrot, as well as stick.

Meanwhile the tone deaf, and probably actually deaf, Joe Biden has launched this cack-handed attack, seemingly unaware of how this may irritate Putin, who cares about that, but which may also embolden him to fight on, and harden support for the Russian leader back home.

If this becomes America versus Russia with America seemingly intent on installing a replacement to Putin, this would be the greatest a rallying cry to the Russian people, one Putin could only dream of.

The slogan would write itself. Who do you want running Russia? Putin or old Uncle Sam? In spite of his incredible military courage, Winston Churchill was famous for coining the phrase “jaw-jaw, not war-war”.

In my view, an end to this nightmare in Ukraine can only be achieved via negotiation. Perhaps with Ukraine committing to never joining NATO, conceding certain territories to the Russians and providing enough concessions with which to ensure that this ends, that it doesn't happen again and allows old Vladimir to go back to the Russian people claiming victory. In reality, of course, it would be an empty one.

Appalling monster though he is, and though it pains me to give him anything, in my view the west must provide Vladimir Putin with a gold plated, diamond encrusted ladder with which to climb down.

President Biden’s ill-considered comments undermine the war effort in Ukraine and the extraordinary courage of its own people.

These comments will make matters worse, creating an enemy around which Putin and his supporters can unite. Joe Biden probably won't apologise for these remarks or withdraw them, because I doubt he remembers saying them in the first place.

This is a guy who probably can't remember what he had for breakfast and who walks into a room, wondering what he went in there for. Like every time he steps into the Oval Office.

Well he has walked into this one big time. Joe Biden is not fit for high office and his poor cognitive health is a clear and present danger not just to America, but to the free world.

What’s the next gaffe going to be? We are collective hostages to fortune of this man's next unscripted outburst.

He shouldn't be president and never should have been. He should be sat at home with a cup of tea, eating soft biscuits, wearing comfortable shoes, sucking on a Werther’s Original and watching reruns of the Golden girls, who look like energetic teenagers compared to him.

There's no way Biden can make it to the next election. But what adds insult to injury is if he goes – which he should - here is the alternative.

What a shame that American can’t have a vote of no confidence in the way our parliament can here. Can he be impeached on mental health grounds? They should consider it. I hope the American people remember what a grave mistake they made in 2020 and let's hope we’re all around for the next one in 2024.

Having a good president is not just critical for America, it's critical for the world. And this disastrous two-year flirtation with old magic grandpa has proved to be a disaster. Sleepy Joe is a no ho-ho and he’s got to go.

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