I cannot wait to see copies of Prince Harry’s book in the reduced sale at Asda, alongside his reputation, says Patrick Christys

It's entitled Spare, which actually is exactly what Prince Harry is

Published

So, Prince Harry's going to have a book out. That's presumably going to be written in crayon and contain the kind of childish doodles that any parent would rather incinerate than stick on the fridge door.

It's entitled Spare, which actually is exactly what Prince Harry is. An Entitled Spare Part.

We all now know the price that the artist formerly known as Prince Harry had for selling out his family, damaging the monarchy and helping to farm this ridiculous notion that Britain is a racist country - £20m. That's the advance payment for this book.

It doesn't matter what he's paid after that because the truth is that once he signed an advance he'd signed his family away. People wondering how sensational this book will be. The answer is obvious: VERY. Because, if it isn't, it'll be a massive disappointment to the people who've just paid him £20m, and that can't happen.

This book will be the longest suicide note in history when it comes to what is left of Harry's relationship with the British public.

Patrick Christys says the book will be the longest suicide note in history when it comes to Harry's relationship with the British public.
Patrick Christys says the book will be the longest suicide note in history when it comes to Harry's relationship with the British public.

It was apparently going to be out for Christmas but that has been delayed so he doesn't have to suffer the embarrassment of being bumped down the best-seller's list by someone who can actually knows how to do joined up writing.

Harry has employed the same ghost-writer as tennis superstar Andre Agassi, another person who is used to serving up absolute balls to the world.

I for one am really looking forward to the audiobook version, reportedly set to be narrated by Harry himself. I imagine that will sound a lot like Gareth Gates' first X-Factor audition, there'll be pauses for crying, deep breathing exercises and the occasional shout from the other room when Meghan wants the loser to come and make her another cup of herbal tea.

The thing is, given how fruity Harry and Meghan have been with the truth in the past, how can we. trust a. word of this.

During that Oprah interview there were several MASSIVE exaggerations. Like the idea that they were married in private by the Archibishop of Canterbury the day before...that simply wasn't true. It was probably a rehearsal that Meghan and Harry have decided to embelish.

What about Meghan saying her passport was taken off her? Well she went away with Harry 13 times during her short stint in the UK. She's hardly a hostage.

Lobbing out this racism allegation against an unnamed royal, so it tarnishes the whole family.

Harry decided to make Prince Philip's final moments miserable. He decided to make the Queen's final moments miserable. He has tried to undermine the British monarchy, British society and damage Britain's reputation on global stage.

And yet he carries on, like the kind of lunatic ex girlfriend you'd like to take a restraining order out against.

This guy is so out of touch with reality that he thinks he's doing us all a favour by banging on about the climate crisis despite emitting more CO2 from private jets than anyone any of us have ever met. He emits more out of his own mouth, considering he talks out of his backside most of the time.

Unfortunately for Prince Harry, I think he's just a bit thick and he's being taken for a mug by publishers looking to sell books and a tinpot soap actress on a power trip.

I cannot wait to see copies of his book in the reduced aisle at Asda, alongside his reputation.